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Isabel's avatar

“His mood seemed to have improved since they had discovered the murdered Sengí family the evening before last.“ This sounds as if the discovery itself made him happier. Is that intended? If not perhaps you could say his mood had recovered from it somewhat or something like that.

Watch out for comma splices. I’ve noticed several and I’ll try to point them out going forward. :) :)

Hino Son seemed impervious to the cold, not even his cheeks were flushed as Nŏl’s were.

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Jeff's avatar

"... the snapping of a single twig..." Excellent.

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